Punctum Saliens

About 6 or 7 years ago, I was driving a rental car with one of those “new fangled” GPS navigation systems. I typed in my destination and was off, dutifully following the turns dictated by the system. Near my destination, however, I made a wrong turn and the system said, “Please return to the highlighted route.” Well, I tried and tried and tried but it kept repeating, “Please return to the highlighted route. Please return to the highlighted route.” I don’t remember exactly what happened but it may have involved a power button and a large piece of folded paper with strange markings on it.

Flash forward to last week in my wife’s new car with a GPS navigation system. Again, I made a turn not on the calculated route but this time the system said, “Recalculating route … Go straight about 2 miles and turn …” Ahhh, so much better!

I’m reading Echoing Silence by Thomas Merton and, in one of his letters to Mark Van Doren, Merton says:

I can no longer see the ultimate meaning of a man’s life in terms of either “being a poet”or “being a contemplative” or even in a certain sense in “being a saint”(although that is the only thing to be). It must be something much more immediate than that. I—and every other person in the world—must say: “I have my own special, peculiar destiny which no one else ever has had or ever will have. There exists for me a particular goal, a fulfillment which must be all my own—nobody else’s—& it does not really identify that destiny to put it under some category—’poet,’ ‘monk,’ ‘hermit.’ Because my own individual destiny is a meeting, an encounter with God that He has destined for me alone. His glory in me will be to receive from me something He can never receive from anyone else—because if is a gift of His to me which he has never given to anyone else & never will. My whole life is only that—to establish that particular constant with God which is the one He has planned for my eternity!”

Many people say, along with Merton, that God has a purpose for our lives. That Merton goes further to say God receives something unique from each one of us is wonderfully non-mainstream. But in regard to this purpose for my life, I’m wondering which GPS system God is like. Is he sitting up in heaven watching me live my life and noticing all my wrong turns and yelling down at me at the top of his lungs “Turn left now. Now! Oh, you missed it, again! Please return to the highlighted route, you dumb ass.” Or is he patiently recalculating my route with each wrong turn I make?

And is he changing my destination along the way? Suppose my purpose was to enter seminary and become the next Billy Graham. Obviously I’ve missed that turn a long way back. Does my life still have a purpose? Perhaps plan B, C, or D has been invoked? Of course, God could have accounted for all my missed turns and planned my route accordingly. But wouldn’t that make my life’s purpose my plan instead of God’s plan? And are plans B, et al., secondary in importance and glory?

Perhaps my purpose is a simple one: give someone a cup of cold water or a meal; visit a sick friend; or give someone in need some clothing. I wonder if Billy Graham’s purpose was not to be the speaker that he was—perhaps that was incidental to his real purpose of feeding one hungry woman or giving a moment’s counsel to one confused man. And when I fulfill my purpose, what then?

Too many questions, I guess. Perhaps I’ll just know when I make a correct turn. Or perhaps I’ll fulfill my purpose and be none the wiser. I guess the only thing to do is to be open to and mindful of life and the world around me. If I go through life preoccupied with my self and my work and my finances and my commitments and me me me me, then I’m surely going to miss a lot of turns and a lot of opportunities. If I’m not mindful of other than me then I’ll never even see that thirsty woman over there let alone give her a drink of water.