Kim Fabricius wrote a post on “The Real Sin of Sodom” and as you would expect got a lot of “feedback.” Kim’s stance is that Sodom was not destroyed because of homosexuality. In a quick read of the comments, “dh” is the most vocal and repetitive and holds the stance that Sodom was destroyed because of homosexuality plus a bunch of other stuff.
To quote Shakespeare, “The [commenter] doth protest too much, methinks.” But that’s neither here nor there.
What I do want to say is, “Ok, ok, we get it already! God does/doesn’t hate homosexuals and Jesus does/doesn’t hate homosexuals and Paul, Peter, Jude did/didn’t condemn all homosexual behavior and all homosexuals are/aren’t going to hell. We get it. Let’s move on to something else now.” Why is everyone condemning/defending homosexuality when it’s been done to death? Let’s agree to disagree and let the sign-in book at the pearly gates decide who the winner is. Besides, there are so many more un-maligned groups just waiting to be pounced upon. (Hopefully poor grammarians are not among them.) Let’s look at the verses touted as anti-homosexual to see who we should be condemning/defending next.
I Corinthians 6 says “… neither effeminate, nor homosexuals … will inherit the kingdom of God.” But there are a bunch of people in the ellipses that need to be straightened out. The fornicators and adulterers, for example. These two groups are actually mentioned before the homosexuals and the hermeneutic I’m using says that order is important. So let’s persecute these guys for a while now. Everyone put your “Adam & Eve not Adam & Steve” signs and posters and bumper stickers and banners and whatever into your PODS unit for a while and make up new ones that say “Abstinence is good for the soul” and “If you can’t keep it in your pants get married.” Then loiter outside singles clubs and raves where you know all kinds of unseemly acts of coitus are about to taking place. While you’re at it, start making up signs that say: “Stay married even if he beats you” because you know the divorce rate will go up because all these “kids” are getting married just to get some. We also have any Christian who goes to court. These bastards are mentioned even before the fornicators so you know it’s important.
Then, of course, there’s Leviticus 20:13: “If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death.” But we’re not doing that anymore. Let’s look around at some of the other verses from chapters 11, 12, 19, and 20. We should, instead, be persecuting anyone without a beard, anyone who eats rabbit or pork or lobster or mussels or crabs, anyone not circumcised, anyone picking up grapes that have fallen onto the ground in a vineyard, anyone wearing cotton blends, anyone having intercourse with a women while she is menstruating, and anyone harming a foreigner. That’s quite the list so we’ve got some sign-making to do. I’ll hang out by the barbershops and you take the restaurants and together we’ll whip this country back into shape.
But, if you really, really want to keep harping on the homosexuals, I’ve found a real easy way to pick them out in a crowd. Romans 1:38-32 says:
And just as they (i.e. the homosexuals, both men and women) did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.
So, you see, all homosexuals (at least the ones Paul says are going straight to hell) are greedy, murdering, deceitful, malicious, slandering, parental disobeying, untrustworthy, unloving, sons of bitches who heartily approve of everyone who murders, deceives, slanders, disobeys, etc.. They shouldn’t be too hard to spot!
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